2005-04-26
pondering
You know, I just love how people seem to bullshit their lives to other people, in order to make themselves look good. You know make themselves seem like they have money or good jobs, expensive cars, and even tons of friends.
To my knowledge, I try to be true to myself and my friends here and diaryland. I am 100% honest in all of the content that I write. I don't exaggerate my life or my job or even my friends. I wonder how many diarylanders(that seem to have a following of fans)actually tell the truth in their diaries!?
This is a question I have asked myself on numerous occasions. There are several diaries that I read and wonder, "how does this person sleep at night?" Knowing people personally, I can do this, because I know the truths in thier lives. I know what kind of people they are. It saddens me to know that others are falling into a trap. They begin to form a perspective without knowing the truth. The feelings are falsified.
Now, I know these are diaries, and that people can write whatever they want. That is not my issue. My issue is when people not only write the lies, but also believe them to be true, as well as convey them to be true to newcomers only to gain popularity.
I started my first diary almost a year ago. I have, since then, had 3 others. All of them having to be hidden, because of people judging my truthful life, when they themselves, live a lie.
I am no saint. I have made mistakes. I have asked God for his forgiveness. That is the best I can do.
I don't know what brought this entry on. I guess is was a combination of things that have been on my mind for a while now. But this being my diary is the best place for me to get my feelings out and to move on with my life. I have to grow up and be a mom now. I can't let little popularity contests and female bitchy-ness bring me down. I can't let someone elses lies irk me. I have to ignore it and move on.
That is just what I will do.
Later,
d
lolamae at 5:12 p.m.